No point discussing complex philosophical matters of spirituality if you can’t wake up for Fajr
I’m just afraid to keep going with the life I’m living now. I have drifted apart. I need someone whom I can approach and put me back on the right path again. I’m tired of being sinful with the God. My soul is too brutal; pierced to pieces beyond mend; inconsolable
in His grief. I need my religion to embrace me again. I wanna mend it again so that I won’t live as an empty vessel; alone in my own loneliness. I wanna walk on this earth knowing that I will never lose faith. The
problem with me is, I’m too afraid to tell anyone that I’m not someone they thought I am. I don’t wanna be judged just because I’m different. Appearance can be deceiving. I walk my day pretending that I’m normal though deep in the closet of my rib cage, I loathe myself for doing that. No, I’m not sad. I’m just too disappointed with myself. Living the life I refuse to. I keep insisting that I will change someday but there’s no assurance that it will make myself a better me. How long can I keep living like this?